


Baby Blueberry

by Chaylie_123



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, Minor Character Death, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:06:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28331337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaylie_123/pseuds/Chaylie_123
Summary: This isnt going to be amazing, this is my first fanfic, but enjoy!!
Relationships: Goshiki Tsutomu/Semi Eita, Shirabu Kenjirou/Reader, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	1. Everyone leaves

**Author's Note:**

> Tw: will be posted before chapters

"Goshiki get up you're gonna be lateee~~" 

He was poked in the cheek as he opened his eyes and saw his older friend, Tendou Satori, standing above him. He looked over and saw his old captain and ace of their highschool team, Ushijima Wakatoshi.

"What are you guys doing in my dorm?" 

Tendou eyed Goshiki, looking him up and down every once in a while 

"I know why you don't have a girlfriend! Your bowl cut!" Tendou smirked 

"Tendou that's mean" Ushijima commented "im playing with the kid, Wakatoshi-Kun" 

Goshiki got up as he tried getting them out of his room "i need to get changed" 

"I won't look" Tendou covers his own eyes then Ushijima's 

Eyes were rolled as they walked together to class running into Semi and Shirabu, Goshiki heart started to pound as he saw Shirabu

Tendou had noticed Goshiki "Wakatoshi-kun~ looks like Goshiki has a crush~~~" he teases 

"Shush he's coming over" Goshiki smiled as he watched Shirabu walk over to him, Tendou and Ushijima

"Hey guys" he said as he finally stopped with Semi in front of them "Hey" Semi said 

"Hey Shirabu" he looked down at his feet as he was panicking over his little crush 

The bell rang before any of Shirabu could say anything back 

(After School)

Goshiki went to look for Shirabu, he was finally gonna tell him, after having been in love with him since his first year at Shiratorizawa. When he turned the corner and what met his eyes was not what he expected. 

Shirabu was f*cking y/n 

Goshiki's heart dropped.

He dropped his letter and quickly ran off as he soon ran into Semi "fuck.." 

Semi helped crying Goshiki up "why are you crying, baby blueberry?" 

Baby blueberry..

God he hadn't heard that name since Highschool, it was a stupid nickname everyone started calling him after they saw his purple bowl cut hair. 

Flashback: 

"These are our new first years! Introduce yourselves brats." the coach yelled out 

Everyone on by one went down till finally Goshiki got to speak

"H-hi I'm Goshiki Tsutomu, call me Goshiki" 

Whispers from all around as they looked at his purple bowl cut hair 

"Can I call you baby blueberry?" 

Goshiki looked up as he heard the question "umm. S-"

He was cut off "how about bowl cut brat." 

Shirabu commented smirking, earning a smack in the back of his head from Semi 

"Don't be a dick." Semi whispered gently 

End of Flashback

"Nothing Semi-san" he said quietly looking down and walking off 

"I'm fine." 


	2. Shirabu's secret uncovered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shirabu tries to hide his secret of his and y/n relationship. But they kinda mess that up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long and sorry its not amazing, i've school and recently got grounded from social media i promise thd 3rd chapter will be better. And sorry they're so short i'm lowkey running low on ideas and what to say, school really has consumed my time and my brain so gomen. Ill be changing the title soon too.

"Tsutomu. Get back here right now." Semi already knew something was wrong. It wasn't hard to tell with Goshiki since he was always determined and outgoing. Goshiki stopped in his steps as heard the firmness and authority in Semi's voice. He turned around and reluctantly walked to Semi 

"What what is-"

A hug.

God it had been forever since he had a hug. Like a genuine hug, not just some half ass 'congrats! you're so cool hug'. It was a hug out of love he was getting. Goshiki started to cry, like how he did in High school when the third years were leaving. Ah those day 

Flashbacks to their high school days 

"Goshiki."

"Yes." 

"I'm counting on you." 

Goshiki had started crying when he had heard those words from his upperclassman. He had always been determined to be the ace of Shiratorizawa one day, but he had to beat Ushijima and Ushijima knew that one day Goshiki would beat him, and would be the ace and maybe even the captain 

"Yes sir!" 

End of flashback 

He pushed his face into Semi's neck as he cried. He cried and cried. He was taken home by Semi, Semi hated seeing his underclassmen like this. Especially if he had gotten so close to them while in highschool. Goshiki quickly got out of Semi's car and went to his dorm door quickly trying to push it open, slamming himself into the door every time he tried. 

"Tsutomu." Semi got out of the car walking to Goshiki trying to stop him as he pushed into the door more.

"Goshiki Tsutomu!." All stopped. Goshiki stood crying in front of the door he was just trying to push down. Semi opened the door for Goshiki, getting him inside as he took the purple haired boy to the bathroom to clean him up.

"Ore?~" Tendou peaks his head into the bathroom as he watches the older boy cleanup his underclassmen "T-ten ten?" Goshiki whimpered and moved out of Semi's hold as he quickly went and hugged Tendou "Tomu?" Tendou hugged back as he gently played with Goshiki's hair "what's wrong, blueberry?" 

Goshiki looked up and saw Ushijima holding him too. He started to cry again. He really thought maybe Shirabu would have feelings for him.

Then.

That's when he walked in. Shirabu, the angled bang boy with Golden hair. He stopped in his tracks "what? What's happening Goshiki, why are you crying?" He ran over to them. Goshiki started to cry more, it hurt. Everything did. "Tsutomu." Tendou held Goshiki close as he played with his hair and walked him to the bathroom, away from everyone else. 

"Shirabu, what's your relationship with y/n?" Shirabu stayed quiet. He knew after that what he had done. "Shit." He cursed under his breath. Tendou walked out leaving Goshiki in the bathroom, Ushijima walked into the bathroom. "I don't know what you're talking about." He looked down. Everyone stayed quiet, then they walked in, "hey ba-" y/n looked around the room, all eyes were on them, they gulped realizing they were screwed.


	3. Goshiki goes missing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of drama. Shirabu moves on with his partner, Semi calls Goshiki a name, and then Goshiki goes missing.  
> Also TW. mentions of cuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, number 4 should come out in 1 or 2 weeks :) <3 thanks for the support

Song: Pacify her by: Melanie Martinez (on my spotify playlist)

"I meant Shiraboo! Yea" y/n tried to cover up her and Kenjiro's secret relationship, he wanted to keep it a secret knowing that Goshiki had a crush on him. Everything was going downhill before y/n and Shirabu's eyes. "Get out shirabu" Goshiki wasn't having it, he was tired of people helping, babying him, pushing him around, fighting his own battles. 

Flashback to highschool: 

"You're too tight Taichi" Tendou peaked out behind Goshiki while putting both his hands on the shorter boys shoulders "i have faith in this fella, he's gonna be the ace once us 3rd years are gone" Tendou he helped Goshiki but he didn't need it. 

"Wtf did you just tell me?" Shirabu eyed Goshiki while raising an eyebrow "you heard me. GET OUT" He raised his voice and everyone had wide eyes 

"Damnnnn Goshiki."

"Period fighting your own battles" 

"Tsk." Shirabu walked out with y/n "whatever." He held their hand as they walked out together. 

Goshiki collapsed onto the floor in tears, holding his heart as if he was having a heart attack. "Baby blueberry…" Semi walked over to him, going down on his butt and holding the crying boy close. "Sh.." he played with his purple hair "Semi-san is here now.. everythings ok.." Tendou walked over and hugged Goshiki's other side of his body, rubbing his back gently. Ushijima went and got some water, some tissues, and a rag. "Here you go, Goshiki." He said quietly while getting down into an L sit and handing Goshiki the tissues. 

Goshiki woke up that next morning to Semi cuddling him, Tendou and Ushijima were gone. 'They must've left and went to their dorm' Goshiki thought as he sat up, rubbing his pounding head. "Fuck.." he said quietly careful not to wake up Semi. "Baby.." Semi said quietly, pulling the younger boy down next to him "relax.." 

'B-baby?' Goshiki blushed as he pushed his face into Semi's neck. The older boy chuckled softly "you feeling ok?" He asked, playing with the young boy's hair. "My head hurts.." he said, taking small breathers that were helping his head feel better. Semi reached for a water bottle and tylenol from the nightstand "here." He gives Goshiki the water and 2 tylenol pills. 

Goshiki's head was feeling better so he got up and went to the shower. Semi stayed outside the door in case something happened. "Eita-san.." Goshiki called quietly from behind the door. 

Semi had quickly gotten up and went to see what was wrong with Goshiki. "What's wrong, Ts-" he looked and saw Goshiki bleeding "what the hell?!" He panicked and quickly went over to Goshiki. "I accidently cut myself while trying to cut my hair" he held out his hand and showed a slit in the middle of his hand. "How did yo… nevermind let's just wrap it up." Semi said quietly, "keep your hand up and open like this until i come back" He went and grabbed some stuff to wrap Goshi's hand. 

Goshiki had kept his hand wrapped for a while. He had a hard time doing anything with that hand. Shirabu on the other hand, he rubbed it in about him and y/n being together. He would grab their hips, play with their hair, and kiss their lips. He sometimes wished that was him. "He's better off without me." He would always whisper to himself. Semi, however, helped him through all of this. He would always text Goshiki asking him questions as if he was his mom 

'Did you check your hand'

'Did you drink water?'

'You ate right?'

'Please make sure to do your homework'

Things like that.

One day Goshiki didn't show up to school, he wasn't answering texts or calls. Nothing. Semi panicked, called Tendou and Ushijima, and they looked everywhere for Goshiki.

And then..

They found him. 


	4. Tendou's goodbyes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unrequited love? Tendou says goodbye?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please i feel like this a rollercoaster of drama, like dude it reminds me of my Gacha life phase woehdjhddhd  
> But please enjoy this one is a little lonnger than my other chapters.

TW!!!!!!⚠️⚠️

Song: Burning Pile by: Mother Mother 

'My head and hand are killing me.' Goshiki thought to himself as he sat on the edge of the roof and smoked a cigarette. 'Hopefully no one fin-' his thoughts were cut off by Semi, Tendou, And Ushijima calling and running for him. "Fuck.." he said quietly and looked back

"Tsutomu. get away from the edge!!" Semi yelled from a far, he didn't wanna get close in case Goshiki would try and jump. "I'm fine. go away Semi." Semi froze 

'Semi?..' Semi thought to himself, Goshiki had always called him Eita or Eita-san.. something is definitely wrong. "Tsutomu." Tendou went and pulled Goshiki away from the edge. "TENDOU" Goshiki screamed out before being pulled into a hug. "Tsutomu.. don't you eve-.." Tendou's voice broke and he couldn't bear seeing what he just saw "god damnit, Goshiki, Don't do that!!!" He yelled at Goshiki, not meaning to. Ushijima walked over and pulled Tendou into his arms. Semi ran over to Goshiki and quickly kissed him gently. 

Goshiki's eyes widened. He quickly relaxed into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Semi's neck "mm~.." he whimpered then Semi pulled away "we'll continue later~.." Semi whispered in Goshiki's ear.

Tendou went down to Goshiki's level. "You know i still love you kid.." he ran his hand through Goshi's hair "just promise me.. i'm not gonna lose you." Tendou's eyes filled with tears. "I promise.. Satori.." he said quietly, holding Tendou's hand on his face. "Goshiki you can't do that." Ushijima said quietly "it'll hurt your upperclassman too much, we don't wanna lose you." He said with a small smile. 

Goshiki was asleep on Semi's shoulder while they were driving back to the dorms. "It hurt, Wakatoshi- kun.." Tendou said quietly while looking back at Goshiki and Semi. "I know Tendou.." He grabbed Tendou's hand with one hand, keeping the other on the steering wheel. "But he's safe with us now." 

They got back to the dorms, Semi woke up and took Goshi to his own room. Tendou and Ushijima went to their dorm. Eita changed Goshiki into one of his shirts and then changed himself. He sighed and went to cuddle Goshi. "I love you so much Tomu.." he whispered softly to himself, "sleep well." He fell asleep not long after holding Goshi close. 

Tendou wasn't showing up to school. He was having his own mental battles, so he was taking some time to himself so he could feel better. Y/N broke up with Shirabu, he was using Y/N at first, he fell in love but Y/N hated it. So he was no longer taken. Semi and Goshiki started hanging out a lot. Going on small dates and cute and small flirting. 

Goshiki went to families for the holidays, telling Semi and his friends he'd be back in a week. "I love you." Semi said quietly "promise.. me you'll be safe.. and you'll come home to me.." Goshiki smiled, a gentle, sad smile. "I promise Semi" he kissed him gently before leaving for the long ride. 

Goshiki got home about a day later. He walked in the house "Goshiki's home!!" His little siblings ran to him before he could even announce that he was home. Tsutomu giggled "Aito!!" He hugged Aito while dropping his stuff. His mom walked to hug him, then his pa. "Ma pa.." he said hugging them both. "It's nice to be home." He said quietly, Walking up to his old room. Putting his stuff down. 

Song:faggot by Mindless Self Indulgence (spotify playlist)

He facetimed Semi every night. But one night his pa caught him. "Who the hell are you talking to?!?" His pa yelled out "this is why you're always fucking exhausted!! You stay up all night!!" He took Goshiki's phone and saw Semi. " Semi?!?!" His face went red with anger. "WHAT ARE YOU GAY?!? I'M NOT LETTING MY SON, WHO SHOULD BE STRAIGHT, LIVE UNDER MY ROOF AS A HOMO!!" he screamed "OUT!!" 

Next thing Goshiki knew he was crying on his way back home. His stuff quickly packed, some of his stuff left. He couldn't see through his tears, so he was trying to be careful while driving, so he wouldn't crash. "Fuck.." he said quietly to himself before pulling over to get some food and clean his face. He was getting some food after washing his face. "Just a number 1.." he said quietly. His food finished and he took his bag, walking back out, driving home, he ate 2, maybe 3 fries before pushing it away. 

He got home and quietly entered his dorm and flopped onto his bed before falling asleep quickly. 

"Tsutomu?.." Semi knocked on his door. He opened the door to find Goshiki in his room passed out on his bed. "Tomu.." he set the food he brought down on the table before walking over to Goshiki and pulling him close. "Hey.." he said quietly while Goshiki tried pulling himself out of his hold. "It's Semi.. I'm here now, love please" Goshi stopped fighting, too exhausted to keep trying. Semi pulled Goshiki onto his chest "listen baby." He whispered softly "everything gonna be ok.." he played with his purple, cut hair. "I'll be here for you forever." Goshiki relaxed, he heard Semi's heartbeat and he was calm. 

Song: Me and My Husband by: Mitski 

Goshiki woke up later at about 2 pm. "Fuck.." he whispered gently. His body hurt and he felt like he hadn't eaten in days. He remembered Semi had been with him "Eita-san?.." he cried out. 'My thighs hurt.. like how they used to when i..' Goshiki shuddered and didn't finish his thought. Semi walked in with some food "hey baby you're awake.." Semi sat down next to Goshiki. Handing him his food "here baby eat." Goshiki quickly started eating, since he hadn't had dinner or that food he bought yesterday he was starving. "Hey hey slow down, I don't want you to choke" Semi gave him something to drink. 

Goshiki finished his food and relaxed for the rest of his day. His body took a while to stop hurting. But he had to go back to school. He was always tired and overthinking. "Goshiki pay attention!!" His professor yelled at him "see me after class Mr. Tsutomu" the professor went back to teaching.

The bell rang. 

Goshiki stayed as the teacher asked what's wrong and he said "nothing, just getting bad sleep." He finally got to leave then Shirabu pulled him into a closet. 

Song: Training Wheels by: Melanie Martinez

"Goddamnit Shirabu" he tried pushing Shirabu off him before Shirabu kissed him. "Goshiki, i know you still love me." Goshiki was going to say something then hesitated. "Don't you?~" Shirabu lifted Goshiki's face by running a finger underneath his chin. "Answer me." He said sternly "y-yes" Goshiki had still thought about Shirabu a lot. He had strong feelings for Semi but he knew he still liked Shirabu too. 

"Be mine." Shirabu whispered in Goshiki's ear. Goshiki got shivers down his spine "o-ok~" 

Unrequited love. 

Goshiki loved Shirabu. Shirabu not so much. All Shirbau wanted. Was Goshi's body..

"Goshiki! God dammit! You take too long." Shirbau had gotten impatient and left without Goshiki. They fought a lot. Goshiki still dumb and in love. Tendou hated this entire thing and showed up to the apartment Shirabu and Goshiki were sharing.

"Satori-san?" Goshiki said before getting pushed away by Goshiki "you fuc-" Tendou cut himself off before punching Shirabu in the nose "TENDOU" Goshiki ran over to Shirabu and quickly cleaned him up. "HOW COULD YOU LET HIM KEEP MANIPULATING YOU LIKE THAT?!?!" Tendou screamed before Ushijima walked in and pulled him away.

Shirabu went after Goshiki. Goshiki tried to one, but Shirbau started hitting him "SHIRABU S-STOP.." Goshiki cried 

Semi walked in, dark circles under his eyes, his eyes red and a bit puffy from crying. "Tsutomu," he said quietly. Semi growled. He saw Shirabu and quickly ran and pulled Shirbau off "what the hell man!!" He yelled and picked up Goshiki "TENDOU COME GET GOSHIKI I'VE GOT TO TAKE CARE OF HIM." Semi yelled before going after Shirabu. 

After he was finished he spat on Shirabu and then left to the car. He hugged Goshiki tight, holding him close. "Semi's here to keep you safe now.." he would whisper, playing with Goshiki's hair as he did. 

Song: Losin Control by: Russ 

Goshiki had a hard time adjusting back to normal. He had been through a lot these past few months. Whenever Semi slightly raised his hands or voice Goshiki would flinch. Semi had felt like shit for letting this happen. But Shirabu had just changed. He used to be so much…. better. 

"Goshiki.." he whispered he had made Goshi breakfast. He brought it in and set it down on the nightstand "baby.." Goshiki was curled up crying. "Baby.. Eita's here now.." he said quietly "come 'er" Goshiki went into Semi's arms quickly. "Sh." Semi played with Goshiki's hair. 

Song: Heart Like Yours by: Willamette Stone 

Goshiki felt incomplete still. He felt like Semi was just taking care of him. He didn't want that. He wanted to help Semi and himself. Not Semi helps him and he does nothing for himself or Semi. 

"Goshiki.." Semi would start to say when Goshiki told him that. "You're overreacting.." he went to hold Goshiki. 

"You mean everything to me Goshiki. Almost losing you made me lose myself. You mean the world to me and I couldn't ask for anyone better than you. Please don't leave me" Semi started to cry "you're my everything.." he held Goshiki up gently by his chin and kissed him gently. Goshiki fell into the kiss, he relaxed and felt loved more than ever. 

Tendou was in the hospital. Him and Ushijima were supposed to run away together. They were only gonna go on a vacation. Be gone for about a month. All Tendou wanted to do was escape reality. 

Song: I lost a Friend by: FINNEAS or Hold on by: Chord Overstreet 

"Tendou please don't leave." Ushijima was holding Tendou's hand. Goshiki watched quietly sobbing. "You're everything that has completed me in life. You made me feel special. Please.." Goshiki had never seen Ushijima cry, right now he was sobbing "Tendou stay.." 

A long unsilent beep. 

Ushijima stayed silent. But he kept a tight grip on Tendou's hand "Sayonara.. my love.." 

Goshiki fell into Semi's arms and sobbed. Semi pulled Goshiki out of the room as the doctors rushed in. "Sir please leave, we'll do everything you can." The nurse said as Ushijima walked out. Tears gently running down his check. 

Song: Life moves on By: FINNEAS 

Goshiki had never felt this hopeless and lost. Semi tried everything he could to help Goshiki but it seemed hopeless. 

"Semi I give up.." 


	5. Lets rewrite the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy and please dont read if you have triggers!!

"Goshiki do not play like that," Semi said quickly. "P-please." His voice started to break. Goshiki held his tongue and he was gonna say something like "you're better off without me." Or "I don't deserve you." 

Goshiki just got up and he didn't say a word. He slipped on a jacket "I'll be back" Then he stepped outside and walked off into the darkness. 

It was cold. It was dark. The wind was howling. Goshiki soon heard Semi and sighed "Eita.." then he started to sing 

"You know I want you.." 

"Eita please." 

"It's not a secret I try to hide.." 

"I see that." 

"I know you want me." 

"Yes.. but I can't even handle myself… please understand." 

"So don't keep saying our hands are tied." 

"What?.." 

"Goshiki look.. I know it seems like I'm asking for a lot. But I want to help make you better." Goshiki started to say something but Semi quickly stopped him "please listen," Semi continued "you treat me so much better than Taichi or Shirabu ever did. You show me love like I never have before. You mean the entire world to me. Losing you would be like losing half a heart." 

Song: Half a Heart by: One Direction 

"You're just so beautiful, your smile makes me warm inside. Your eyes, god I could drown in them. Your hair, I would kill to be able to play with your soft hair all day. You're laughter, I haven't heard it in a while but god when I hear your laugh. The world just seems to stop when I'm with you. It makes me so happy. You make me happy." Semi stopped and went to hold Goshiki's hands. "I want to be with you forever, a small house and 1 or 2 kids." He kissed Goshiki gently. Goshiki had been crying halfway through Semi's long speech he gave of his love for Goshiki. "Sh.." Semi said as he pulled away from the kiss "Let's go home." 

When they got home Goshiki had fallen asleep in Semi's arms. Semi carried Goshiki inside and set him down on the bed. Semi took off Goshiki shoes and took off his tight jacket. He yawned as he went and cuddled with Goshiki. "Mm." Goshiki whimpered and got closer to Semi "sh my love.. it's ok.." 

Song: A Match Into Water by: Pierce the Veil 

TW!!⚠️⚠️: mention of scars and Su!c!de attempts 

Goshiki was standing in the mirror. He was looking at his scars. He never liked them, they always reminded him of the past, when he wasn't ok, when he needed someone the most. Semi knocked on the door and called for Goshiki "Tsutomu?" 

'Shit!' Goshiki thought to himself and quickly tried to cover his scars before Semi walked in "Semi-san wait!!" Semi stopped in his tracks "Tomu?.." he quickly walked over to Goshiki "what?.." he gently touched and looked at Goshi's scars "s-scars?.." he started to cry and then started kissing his scars "Eita?.." he said quietly "s-stop.." 

Semi never stopped "please.. i-im insecure about them.." Semi got up and held Goshiki close. "I still think you're beautiful.." Goshiki blushed at those words. 

Goshiki and Semi always went on dates. Holding hands and eating cake and sweets together. Then Semi proposed, ofc Goshiki said yes. They had lived for a while but Goshiki seemed to be getting sadder and sadder. 

Then one day Goshiki was in the hospital. 

Song: Yellow by Coldplay 

Semi rushed into the hospital. The doctor was outside the door next to a few chairs "Mr. Eita?" 

"That's me" 

"You're gonna want to sit down for this." 

'Attempted suicide?.. why..?' Semi asked himself while he sat next to Goshiki's alive breathing body. 

The doctor walked in and he had bad news.

Bad news: Goshiki was in a coma, he's ok, but the doctor doesn't know how long he will last. And if he did survive, he probably wouldn't remember anything

Semi collapsed next to Goshiki's bed. He was crying for what felt like forever. He held his heart and watched the doctor walk out sadly. "DAMMIT GOSHIKI." 

Song: The Night We Met by Lord Huron 

Semi started up the night we met. He lay on his bed overthinking everything he barely slept. He lay staring at the ceiling or outside at the stars. God how he had always wanted to take his baby blueberry to see the stars. "Tomu.. why.." he asked aloud, crying covering his face with his hands. 

The next few weeks were hell for Semi. He could never focus on school work. He started online to stay with Goshiki during the day. He would listen to Goshiki's slow breathing. It pains him that he couldn't help Goshiki that day. He held Goshiki's hand. "I've got a puppy for us when you wake up." Semi explained while sitting next to Goshi's still, breathing body. "I hope you make it out and you don't forget who I am." Semi held Tsutomu's hand while he shook and cried. 

Days seem slower and slower. Semi took care of the puppy well. He visited Goshiki everyday. He started getting busier and busier. 

"Today is Tomu's birthday, brownie" Semi explained to his puppy while he blew up balloons and made a card. "I miss you.." Semi finished off his card with those words. 

He got to the hospital and walked into Goshi's room "happy birthday, baby blueberry.." He waited for Goshiki to turn and look at him, smile, and say 'oh Honey you shouldn't have.' It pains Semi and he held Goshiki close as he sat Goshiki's balloons off to the side and set his card on the desk next to the bed. 

3 years later. Their puppy,brownie, had grown to be quite big and Semi pet brownie while he sat outside. 'Ring ring' Semi's phone went off and he picked it up "hello?" 

'Is this Mr.Eita?'

"This is he" 

'Goshiki is awake and he is looking for you." 


	6. Semi couldn't believe it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i was running low on things to say, I'm a switch that wants to bottom more and I'm a virgin so but   
> TW⚠️

**_Song: The Wisp Sing by: Winter Aid_ **

  
  


Semi couldn't believe it. His Fiance was alive, he survived and remembers!! Semi quickly got dressed "please behave ok Brownie" Brownie whimpered in protest as Semi left. 

  
  


Semi drove to the hospital as quickly as he could. He parked and ran inside. The lady at the front looked up "who are you here for?" She asked, "Goshiki Eita" 

  
  


"Upstairs, room 34" Semi quickly walked up there, he didn't bother taking the elevator. He got to the room and saw the doctor outside "Dr. Pepper?" Semi asked "Ah, Mr. Eita, he's inside waiting" Semi nodded then opened the door slowly. Goshiki quickly looked at the door "Goshi?" Semi called "Semi-san!" Goshiki opened his arms.

  
  


Semi started to cry. Everything hit him when he saw Goshiki. 

**_Flashbacks_ **

_ "Goshiki, please eat." Semi pleaded as he watched Goshi pick and play with his food "Semi-san.." Goshiki looked up at Semi with pleading eyes. Semi sighed "ok.." Goshiki smiled gently and got up to go and lay down.  _

  
  


_ Watching as Goshiki looked sadder and a lot more tired than usual. "Hey have you been sleeping?" Semi asked, getting concerned "yea, just had a bit of trouble sleeping."  _

  
  


_ He looked skinnier from not eating. "Baby please eat."  _

  
  


**_"Noo!"_ **

  
  


Semi was snapped back to reality when Goshiki pulled him into a hug. "Eita, Today is still November 10th, 2018? Right?" Eita heart dropped. "No.. It's 2021," Semi began "June 20th, 2021." Goshiki's face went dark. 

  
  


"Se-semi.." he started to cry "w-what happened?" Goshiki choked sobs. "You tried to end.. and you wound up in the hospital. 3 years in a coma and everyone kept saying you wouldn't remember anyone or anything." Goshiki sobbed as he held his bed sheets tight "Eita.." he looked up at Semi. Semi sighed and went and laid next to Goshiki "its… ok..Eita-san is here now.." Goshiki laid on Semi's chest. 

  
  


**A few days later**

  
  


**_Song: Can We Kiss Forever by: Kina, Adriana Proenza_ **

  
  


Goshiki got to come home. He had a lot of cards and teddy bears from throughout the years. A "welcome home" sign was hung from the wall when he walked in and he was quickly greeted by brownies loud barking. "Puppy!" Goshiki put his stuff down and started to pet the puppy. Semi smiled gently and was determined to keep Goshiki safe. 

  
  


He helped Goshiki eat, keep good hygiene, brush his hair, etc. He cried at night thinking about how he could lose Goshiki again, and for the rest of his life not just a few years. Goshiki would comfort him and try to calm Semi down. So he would kiss him in the most gentle way possible. It always calmed Semi. He always wanted to just hold and kiss Goshiki like that forever. 

  
  


Semi started forgetting to take care of himself. "Hey.. you're not taking care of yourself." Goshiki would say holding Semi. Semi hadn't noticed he wasn't showering, eating, sleeping, or brushing his hair and teeth correctly. "I suppose I haven't been.." Semi sighed. "Have a day to yourself shower, nap, treat yourself." Goshiki said with a small, weak smile. Semi held Goshiki's hands then pulled him into a warm kiss.

  
  


Goshiki wrapped his arms around Semi's neck and kissed back. He felt this was perfect he could stay like this forever. But things don't always last forever. Semi had soon gotten sick. Goshiki took care of him. It hurt seeing Semi like this. It hurt him, he would start to cry and cry seeing Semi like this. 

  
  


Semi finally got better, but he was still weak and his body would sometimes go numb. Goshiki would kiss Semi to help him try and feel better. Semi would sigh gently into the kiss. "Nothing is your fault Goshiki, I just got the passing virus" Semi would explain. 

  
  


Goshiki sighed and he would start writing letters. 

  
  


He would write them in case he ever left this earth. 

  
  


Goshiki yawned as he sat on the couch and watched a movie while Brownie crawled next to him, laid down, and went to sleep. Goshiki put on a random movie and didn't pay much attention to the details. But next thing he knew there was a love making scene. 

  
  


Goshiki didn't notice until he heard the noises from the tv. He quickly turned the tv off. He sighed, "fuck." Semi walked into the living room "what was that?" He asked. 

  
  


"N-nothing" Goshiki stuttered, grabbing a pillow and covering his "friend" with it. "Hmm.. ok?" Semi goes and sits next to Goshiki. "Goshiki.." he started quietly, staring deeply into his eyes. "Are you hiding something from me?" Goshiki shook his head quickly. 

  
  


"Are you lying to me?" Semi asked again. Goshiki nodded slowly, looking down. "Oh baby," Semi grabbed Goshiki gently by his chin "no one likes liars." The pillow dropped exposing Goshiki's little friend. "Eit-" 

  
  


"That's daddy to you." Semi cut him off. 

  
  


Goshiki loved this side of Semi. The soft-dom side of Semi. They never did this much before. At least 2 times in their 8 years of being together. 

  
  
  
  


**_Song: Still Don't Know My Name by: Labrinth_ **

  
  
  
  


Still Don't know My Name played in the background. As Goshiki whimpers under Semi. "S-semi.." Goshiki moans and throws his head back. "Wrong name." Semi slaps his thigh gently. This lust and love in Semi's eyes. It's like it's telling him 

_ 'I wanna do this for pleasure, but I'm not doing this for your body or to hurt you. I'm gonna stay.' _

It made Goshiki feel safe as Semi took his body. 

  
  


Everything felt good. His eyes filled with tears. "Aw, baby don't cry," Semi frowned "you're making me feel like the bad guy." Semi realized something then quickly grabbed Goshiki gently in between both of his hands. "Our safe word is Blueberry. Yell it when it's too much for you." Goshiki nods as Semi kisses his forehead before going down on Goshiki. "D-da-" Goshiki was cut off as he felt Semi start to suck him off. 

  
  


Goshiki quickly grabbed Semi's hair in a handful and threw his head back. 

  
  
  


_ "Goshiki, Daddy loves you."  _

  
  


_ "I-i love you too!"  _

  
  


_ Semi grabs Goshiki's hand  _

  
  


_ "Feels so good!"  _

  
  


_ "Shh.. wouldn't want the neighbors to hear."  _

  
  


**_"I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!"_ ** __

  
  


Goshiki woke up the next morning. His body was weak but he felt like he could run a mile. He could smell this delicious smell coming from the kitchen. "Mm.. Eita-san.." Goshiki whined as he tried to get up. Semi walked in and saw Goshiki "hey, hey," Semi goes and lays Goshiki back down "rest, I'm gonna take care of you."

  
  


"Eita my back hurts.." Goshiki whimpers "I know it'll feel better soon.." Semi kissed Goshiki and went back down to finish making plates and soon he was back with Goshiki. "Here" He said, handing Goshiki his food. Goshiki sat up and said "thank you." 

  
  


**Months later (sorry guys I was running low on things to say, I'm a virgin and a more bottom so i'm not sure how aftercare works all that much)**

  
  


Goshiki wanted to be here forever but soon. He felt out of place again. Sometimes putting on a face and pretending you're ok works. Next thing they knew Goshiki was in the hospital again.


	7. You've been freed, Tsutomu Goshiki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE TW DONT READ IF YOU HAVE SU!C!DE TRIGGERS 
> 
> also fanfics I'm working on rn:
> 
> Sakuatsu and Iwaoi   
> So be prepared ;)

**_Song: Before You Go by: Lewis Capaldi_ **

**_TW!_ **

**_Days earlier:_ ** __

_ "Baby.. you know I love you right?" Goshiki said out of the random as he wrapped his arms around Semi. "I love you too baby." Semi looked down at Goshiki ``now what's up? You don't just say that out of the random, Goshiki" Semi began to get serious. "I just wanted you to know how much I love you, I wanted you to make sure you didn't forget."  _

_ "Ok, Just promise not to leave me. Let's actually get married this time."  _

_ "Ok."  _

_ "Promise."  _

_ "I'll try my best"  _

  
  


_ Semi held Goshiki in his arms as they slowly danced around the room.  _

_ "This is nice.."  _

_ "It really is." Goshiki said as he held Semi's hand tighter.  _

_ This was Goshiki's request. He had been requesting a lot of things like this lately. Semi never asked why. He loved the thought of being able to spend some time with his fiance.  _

_ "Are you ok, baby?" _

_ "Just wanted some time, you've been so busy with band practice.. I just need this."  _

_ "Ok baby.. I'm not leaving, I promise."  _

_ "I know.."  _

  
  


_ They started making cards, nothing special just random cards to give each other in case anything ever happened.  _

_ "Why?"  _

_ "I thought they would be cute." Goshiki said, giving a faint, fake smile.  _

_ Goshiki would start making a bunch of sweets and a nice dinner for Semi. "Goshiki, are you sure something isn't wrong?.."  _

_ "I promise Semi.." _

_ Semi swallowed hard. While they ate dinner, they talked about what they were going to do for the wedding. They decided nothing huge because they didn't know a lot of people and thought to just make it something between family and friends.  _

  
  


_ They drove around in their car late at night. Lights passing through the car to light up Semi and Goshiki's face. Semi held Goshiki's hand as the music was playing quietly in the background. "This Is nice.. thank you.." Goshiki said quietly "of course, you gotta live life to the fullest, you know?"  _

_ "Yea.."  _

  
  


_ Goshiki one day texted Semi out of the random. It went something like this.  _

_ "This is really random. But you know I love you so much. I always have and always will. You should never give up on anything, before I go.. There's nothing you could've done. Nothing to make it stop hurting me so much. Nothing is your fault though. You made me feel so so loved. From highschool up until now. You've helped me through everything and I can't thank you enough. But it hurts Semi. I can't keep going on. Please don't try and save me. I don't wanna be saved. Not anymore. I wanna just rest.. peacefully. Knowing you'll move on and find someone who's way better for you. Someone who could take care of you better than I could. I'll never forget you. I love you forever. " _

  
  


_ Semi hadn't seen the text till later. Then he also noticed the message from the doctor as he quickly grabbed his stuff and went to the hospital. _

_ "Mr. Eita. _

_ Goshiki with us, come as quickly as you can. He is in critical condition."  _

**_Back to the present_ ** : 

Semi got stuck and traffic screaming at the top of his lungs for people to move, until finally he parked his car in some random alley. Grabbed a few things from the car and ran to the hospital. As soon as he got there, he got the worst news. "Mr. Eita," the doctor started, "he only has a few hours left." Semi's heart stopped. He was able to keep in his tears until he stepped into the room. 

"Tsutomu.." Semi said as he looked at Goshiki's limp body laying down on the hospital bed. He couldn't handle seeing him like this. He started to cry and cry. He didn't notice Goshiki going over to reach for him. "Eita.. don't cry, I want this." Goshiki said softly. "Goshiki please don't leave me" Semi choked back sobs "I can't lose you again. You promised we would get married!" Goshiki sighed softly, looking away. "Eita.. you won't lose me… I'll be with you always." Goshiki looked at Semi. "I don't feel good."

"I know baby sh.. save your energy.. stay with me a little longer." 

"I wish I could see the court.. and our team one more time.." 

"Me too b-baby.. now sh.." 

"Promise.. to bury me next to Satori please.." 

"G-goshiki.. god d-dammit please…" 

Goshiki held Semi's hand tight and before Semi could fully process everything. Goshiki's hand went limp and the machine let out a long beep. Semi basically screamed and kicked around like a child who didn't get what they wanted in the store when they took him out of that room. 

  
  


"Sir please calm down." 

"GOSHIKI GOD DAMMIT PLEASE!!" Semi kept crying and reaching out as they went into the room. They took him out of the hospital. "Go home." They said before going back inside. Semi sat for a sec. He thought and thought. He didn't wanna believe any of this. Semi got up finally, went to his car, and started it. 

  
  


**_Song: Happiest Year by: Jaymes Young_ **

  
  


Semi stood in front of Goshiki's casket at the funeral. Tears couldn't stop running down his face. He felt a hand on his back, he looked back and saw Shirbau. "What do you want!!" Semi wanted to scream but he couldn't. "I'm sorry.." Shirabu said quietly "this is my fault. I was such a bitch in highschool. I didn't treat him right, if I just did. Maybe he would still be here. I would rather him had fallen out of love with me and fallen for you, then leave me cause I was really toxic and I abused him."

  
  


Semi smiled a little then it went away. He quickly hugged Shirbau. Finally, getting a hug after what felt like forever. Shirbau hugged back, Semi felt so incomplete and like he no longer had anyone. Tendou, his best friend, was gone. Goshiki, his soon to be husband, was gone. It was like Shirabu knew he needed someone.

  
  


"Let's get some food, catch up, and then we'll go home?." Shirabu says with a small smile. 

"Yea.. go on I'll catch up." 

"Ok." 

  
  


When Shirabu was out of sight. He walked over to Goshiki, who was now buried. 

_ "Thank you for everything, love. You made me the happiest I could've ever been. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you enough for you to be here with me right now. I'm also sorry I couldn't keep you happy enough to stay. I gave you as much love as I could give. But still. Thank you for the love you gave me. I hope you're finally happier now. You've been freed. I love you so much. Rest peacefully, Tsutomu Goshiki."  _

Semi set the flowers down as tears rolled down his face, and this time when he walked away. 

**_He didn't look back._ **


End file.
